I read somewhere recently about the need to cultivate friendships with folks outside the church. Not just to wait for friendships to happen but to intentionally make them happen. In some ways this is where the emerging church differs from some other churches. They place a very high value on relationships and on people in general. They (I realize it is dangerous to speak in generalities) seek to value individuals, to actually listen with interest and to respond in Christ-like ways whenever possible. In this regard they tend to be less judgemental and more accepting than many typical evangelical or fundamental churches.
This week we attended a church that was started 25 years ago by Brian McLaren. (Brian is one of the more famous or infamous leaders of the movement) Like all of the other emerging type churches we have attended, they celebrated the Lord's Supper weekly. They changed it up a bit from their norm (whatever that is) and had the folks come forward in groups of 8 or 10 and serve each other - emphasizing community. Following the service, they gave out different color ribbons at the door, instructing each person to find someone with the same color ribbon and get to know them and walk with them up to the ice cream line for an ice cream social. (I passed on the ice cream, 9 AM was a bit early for anything but coffee.)
Like several other churches, the regulars were all wearing preprinted name tags. In other words, the real distinctive of this "emerging church" was that in a variety of ways they were cultivating relationships within the body. Not just waiting for it to happen but doing everything they could think of to help it happen - including weekly life groups that met to discuss the application of the sermon.
So, here is something to think about. How can we cultivate friendships, or at least real relationships within the church? And, how can we as the church be a better friend to our community?
About Me
- Pastor Bob
- I am the senior pastor of Calvary Bible Fellowship Church in Sinking Spring, PA.
Number
Journey to the Promised Land
6 comments:
Pastor Bob,
Great observation about name tags. I've often thought that with us now having three services it is difficult for us (especially for us older ones ;) ) to get to know those from the other services. I know the logistics may get dicey..people forgetting or taking them home if they are permanent ones...but we could also just have a table with the sticky ones and a black marker. My stint at the welcome desk in the nursery each month is also selfish in that I get to know another generation (group)of people (mostly 947 attendees). Building relationships starts with a name! Anything to help me with that is a plus.
Sorry about deleting that! I'll be more careful next time and not go clicking around on little garbage icons just to see what they do...duh.
What are authentic, real relationships within the Body? One thing I long for is to be challenged spiritually in the friendships I have within the church. I've come to a point in my walk where I say and believe all the "acceptable Christian" things and I seem to get a "pass" mark in everyone's book. And come to think of it, I probably give out that pass mark and forget about the walk of faith my friends have as well. There are places in relationship that most of us won't go. I hesitate to ask how my friends have seen God move in their lives this week. I shudder at the snickers; the comments about being "spiritual" that may or may not come. I have a greater fear of man than I do a love for people becoming more Christlike. I don't often confess my sin with a motive for accountability, prayer and forgiveness. I confess sin if I need to ask someone's forgiveness, with a motive for peace. I often don't dare personally challenge others about negative attitudes, submission issues, grudge bearing, jealousy, envy or, how they spend their time and money. After all, that's legalism, isn't it? And who am I to judge (besides, with no one doing those things for me, I've probably got lots of planks in my eyes.) Moreover, such would be an invasive affront to privacy and independence. I've got lots of friends in church--most of my best ones are there. How authentic is my walk with Christ as a sister in Christ, or have I simply settled into a Christian culture? These are questions I've been asking myself in the last year.
The Book of Acts, however, shows a picture of a very different group... and the results on the outside world were astonishing.
Sometimes Nan, I think the authentic part is just accepting people where they are. Even in the Book of Acts, there were only a relative few who were confrontational. Certainly in the epistles, Paul was unfraid to confront all kind of sins. But, that doesn't mean he did it non stop personally.
It is an interesting balance, standing for the truth and caring for the person. Remember, sometimes, even Jesus just drew in the sand.
I think that with the ones we are afraid of, it may mean the relationship has not really progressed to the point - both ways - where there is the depth of love that allows the fullest kind of relationship. Does that mean it is not authentic? Some relationships might be authentic just not fully developed.
I understand, Pastor, the balance you are seeking. We can become annoying in a hurry by continually pointing out every word, deed or screw up our brothers and sisters in Christ make. Love (and grace) covers a multitude of sins. The Apostle did confront sins all the time. (It would be interesting to see how often his confrontations were connected with sin that threatened truth or right doctrine.) He also exhorted us to admonish one another--for the love of the other and the sake of Christ. Hebrews 3:13 connects encouraging one another (the context infers a spiritual encouraging) so that we won't be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. So it's not just confrontation but also encouraging to do and be in the Vine so to speak, rejoicing in the Lord, or invoking God's blessing to one another. If someone is angry, depressed or otherwise upset, we women talk about it until our lips are numb--but how often do we pray together for one another? How often do we exhort the other to seek the peace of God--challenge one another to desire God more than we desire the things we want? Does this go on in other relationships or are mine just particularly void of it? Sometimes, I don't want the Body of Christ to just "accept me where I am." Sometimes I'm conformed to the world, not Him. Sometimes I'm filled with myself, not the Spirit. I don't want to be like the Laodiceans: luke warm and spewed out of Christ’s mouth. I shudder between what being radical for Christ means and facing Jesus in the end and realizing how much more I could given Him. That's why I need Christ-centered encouragement and Christ-centered fellowship. But I figure that I had better begin giving it before I whine about not getting it.
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